Ian vs. o2: A dramatisation

By on Mar 5, 2010 in Blog, Old posts, Rant | 0 comments

To help explain my problems with o2, I’ve prepared this short play. In the video, I’m played by the harmless looking cardboard robot. o2, on the other hand, is played by the rather stern looking no-nonsense woman with a huge forehead. For your consideration:

Shutting BBC 6 Music and Asian Network isn’t the answer

By on Mar 2, 2010 in Blog, Old posts, Rant | 3 comments

The BBC leaks money. It always has done, and I don’t imagine it’s got any better since I left the corporation three years ago. One of the things the BBC isn’t good at is fixing leaks. I should explain; none of this waste is malicious, all staff know that the licence fee is a precious resource not to be squandered. Well, everyone except some managers that is. The truth is, most people at the BBC are focused on producing amazing things, but sometimes in the pursuit of these amazing things middle managers get carried away. When I worked at the BBC, we sat near a team responsible for the BBC’s Art content, themselves, producers of some amazing TV. One day, out of the blue, appeared a large, green sign. It said “Welcome to Arts” and was at the end of a corridor. This corridor was in the inner core of White City, so the ONLY people who would ever see it...

The problem with o2 in the UK

By on Feb 19, 2010 in Blog, Old posts, Rant | 7 comments

I’ve been a customer of o2 since August 2009. Since August 2009 my wife has made it quite clear that if if don’t move to another network, either our marriage, or my balls, are at serious risk. The problem with o2 is that it’s very hard to receive and make phone calls. Mrs 9outof10 tells me that she can hardly ever get through to me. She’s very frustrated by this, and for lots of reasons, in the coming months, she needs to be able to be sure that she can call me and get through STRAIGHT AWAY. I’ve had enough. So I called o2 today to find out if I can get out of my contract. The audio included here is both sides of my earlier call. I have cut out personal details, and cut HUGE chunks of hold-time out too. The actual duration of the call was 25 minutes. As you can hear, I’ve had no joy in this call. I’m also certain that I’m not the ONLY...

For forks sake

By on Dec 19, 2005 in Blog, Old posts, Rant | 2 comments

My boss has revealed that she has been stealing forks, spoons and knives from the work canteen for many, many months. No one is quite sure if they will sack her over this heinous crime. We are forked off at her, and sick of her conniving knife thefts. She really needs to take respoonsability for her actions. Proof here, in this dramatic image.

Revenge of the killer chairs

By on Dec 9, 2005 in Blog, Old posts | 0 comments

Today I noticed that the hundred and thirty thousand chairs that were in the corridor yesterday have been herded, like little five wheeled sheep, into glass ‘pens’. What amused me further was the fact that there were three people, with their hands on their hips looking at the chairs, and discussing at great length how they had come to rest there. And what could possibly be done about the situation. I’ve decided they were chair shepherds. Anyway, chairs are still there, but they look happy now. And the main advantage, they aren’t in my bloody way anymore.

Attack of the killer chairs

By on Dec 8, 2005 in Blog, Old posts | 2 comments

Today, as I was going about my business I walked into a corridor here, and to my shock and surprise it was rammed full of chairs. Here is an image All of this made walking through the corridor a lot harder than it would normally have been. I muttered “cunts” under my breath, but no one seemed to care (or notice).